Dickson Igwe. Photo: Provided

This bank customer had the usual miserable, and time wasting experience, of having to visit a retail bank in Road Town on the second day of December 2013. Visiting a retail bank in the Virgin Islands is probably one of the worst customer service experiences on planet earth.

He joined a long winding queue. He automatically knew this was going to be a challenging day. That was obvious, from the static and snake like formation of extremely patient human beings, standing in line, and going nowhere. These were men and women resigned to their fates. This was a very busy retail banking branch, sitting at the very epicenter of Road Town.

As is frequently the norm on a Monday morning, the queue was from the entrance to the teller counter. The only smiling and pleasant personality in the place was the tall and crisply uniformed security officer. This is a very well groomed man who possesses a habit of cordially greeting each and every customer, and warmly. He probably worked in customer service before changing careers. An exceptional people friendly type, one wonders why he isn’t the branch customer service manager: he frequently appears to be carrying the customer service load on his broad shoulders, and all by himself. 

OK. This bank never seems to have any deposit slips available on their counters. One wonders whether this is done on purpose to annoy. Customers have to literally beg a member of staff for their customer privilege and right of obtaining a deposit slip. Then when asked, the attitude from some staff states that they are doing Joe Customer a favour serving, even for this most basic request.

The deposit slip is eventually given, after a long wait, with a thorough lack of empathy, disdain, and weariness. Joe Customer is treated like an unwanted stepchild. As is frequently the case with a poor customer service model: the fault is always the customers.

One wonders what these folk are doing working in customer service. And one wonders who they think pay their wages. They would be better served working as Gulag wardens in Siberia, or death cell guards at San Quentin. In fact, it appears the bank’s security officer is often the go between, between customer and staff, searching for that person who is required for this or that service. RIDICULOUS!

In any event, that Monday, a longsuffering public had to wait on average an hour, just to get the most simple of transactions conducted. This was acceptable. Monday is a busy banking day with customers requiring cash after a spendthrift weekend. What was not acceptable was the attitude of the tellers.

The two tellers, immaculately uniformed one might positively state, had to deal with scores of customers. The female was a rather pretty and curvaceous specimen of womanhood, as is typical of these West Indies, and the male teller, an equally well groomed employee.

That was the good part. The terrible part was this: that they both possessed the normative lack of concern for the suffering public is an understatement. They appeared to possess a smug satisfaction and a glee. They had Joe Customer where they wanted him: in misery and bondage. Yes, they were in their element. It was written on their faces that Joe Public would have to wait interminably on their providence to get served in time. A self importance and stony aspect which stated loudly: I COULD NOT CARE LESS: IF YOU WAN, GO AWAY MR. CUSTOMA SAH.

With tremendous forbearance, and a patience supplied by deity, this perplexed customer got to the teller counter, at long last, and after a totally unnecessary 60 minute wait. If 60 minutes ever sounded like eternity, this Monday morning proved it could very well be.

He was not greeted warmly as should be standard customer service practice, with a smile and an acknowledgment.

Instead, he was hurriedly shuffled along, and told by the female teller, to inform her, when he was ready to pay in his deposit. “Tell meh when you ready,” she grunted, those were her exact words, and not in a friendly manner, were they stated. She had better things to do obviously. She let Joe Customer know her thoughts, and in the grumpiest manner imaginable. Her body language said it all. Her facial expressions, and rolling eyeballs, were a letdown to her pretty aspect.

Now, after waiting an hour, to be received in that rude and grotesque manner was the pits. And Mr. Customer here, made his opinion known. He told the WOMAN loudly but civilly that he was a customer: That the CUSTOMER IS KING and that HER ATTITUDE WAS BAD.

He looked around, receiving ready agreement from the painfully weary, longsuffering queue of customers. The customer beside him smiled warmly in full support. So he was tempted to climb the counter, stand tall, perform gratis, and make a speech, on the critical importance of cordiality and politeness on the Virgin Islands shop floor. He decided against doing that. First, elections are still 24 months away, and even more crucially, he did not want to see the dark side of Mr. Security Officer. A guy who has a perennial smile on his face could be downright dangerous if provoked: so this Observer of life has learned.

Of course, this most civil expression of displeasure just made the pretty female teller ruder still. She basically flung the stamped deposit at him after the transaction was concluded.

He was unconcerned, and he certainly wasn’t surprised. The behaviour of some Virgin Islands retail banking staff remains in the sewer. One wonders whether this sad model of customer service will ever get fixed. Or maybe one has to be a member of the class that never has to stand in a queue: the ones who simply go into a back office and do business.

Enough said! “Mr. Strategic Bank manager: fix this stupid mess: PLEASE! That is one reason why you are paid a six figure salary. Problem solving is a crucial management task Sir: and poor customer service is a problem that is certainly not being fixed.” Or maybe that is part of the retail banking culture. Maybe customers should expect a very poor experience when they step into a bank as part of the RETAIL BANKING MODUS OPERANDI. STUPES! Put a warning on the door then. “DANGER: EXPECT YOUR WORST EXPERIENCE AS YOU WALK PAST THIS ENTRANCE! EXPECT A VERY BAD DAY!”

Yes indeed! Visiting a retail bank in these Antilles has gone from bad to worse: any further down the poor customer service precipice and one would have to term the retail banking service: “SIMPLY DISGUSTING!”

One idea for improvement is to get ROVING CUSTOMER SERVICE OFFICERS, staff and tellers, who amble about the retail floor, and elsewhere, with a small laptop or tablet type device linked with the bank’s system, aiding, assisting, supporting, prompting, helping, even encouraging. Another innovation would be to create a lounge type experience. Consign standing in queues to the scrap heap. Instead, have an attractive lounge with seating, well situated television screens, even a computer kiosk for personal banking.

Add a numbering system, where customers enter and take a ticket with a number, then sit and wait their turn. Bank customers could then have the option of sitting comfortably to wait their turn, or wander off and do something more profitable if the wait will be long. Of course if they return and their number is past: well that is sad for them.

Train back office staff to recognize when it is time to get off the behind and run on to the shop floor and assist the tellers on the counter if things get hectic. Even senior staff should get into the habit of MULTITASKING. It might just decrease some of the monotony of pushing heaps of paper from one place to another; or watching the computer screen, for that fortuitous blip, crucial to the bank’s bottom line.

The BVI exists in a highly competitive world where innovation and creativity are watch words for countries that hope to prosper and develop. Poor customer service is simply not an option.

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