Some parents start out on the journey of parenthood early in life, and others start a little later, after they have created a financial base with a career and property, so that they are in a better position to provide for their families.

The role of parents cannot be over-estimated. A parent is a valuable member of the family and the society in general. Parents have a great responsibility to raise their children to be productive members of society. Parents are expected to love, protect, provide for, guide and direct their children in every stage of their development, from infancy to young adulthood. This is usually a span of two decades, so if you are planning on becoming a parent, think about an investment of time that is about 20 years of your life to be devoted to the interest of your child. If you have multiple children ranging in ages with about a ten year period of difference in ages, you can see yourself in this role for a period of about 30 years. Thirty years of parenting is indeed a lifetime career!

“Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long on the Earth”. Honoring your father and mother, or your parents, or whomever stands in your life as your parent(s), is the first step in securing your own position in the world. By respecting and obeying your parents, by listening to what they have to tell you that can improve your life, by taking instruction on life skills, learning from their past experience, taking their advice on the company you keep, etc., you are setting the scene for the continued protection of yourself when you have to make your own decisions in life. The choices you make in life are largely the result of how you were brought up to think, and the values and principles that were passed on by your parents.

Parents are not always the perfect individuals that we would like them to be. They are human beings who are subject to making mistakes and sometimes fall short of their children’s expectations. If we are honest with ourselves we will see that we have our own faults, and our parents have their faults as well. However, the little or much that they are able to give us as children, is only a foundation on which we are supposed to build our own kingdoms. The relationship we have with our parents is the foundation for the relationship we have with the rest of the world. If we cannot treat our own parents well, how can we treat others well? If we cannot tolerate our parents’ shortcomings, how can we accept our own and how can we even begin to work on improving ourselves? Being real is the key to understanding ourselves and others. Being real keeps us from the deadly trap of denial.

I do not pretend to be an expert on any subject, but as a parent myself I have the benefit of knowing how relationships between parent and child can be challenging, in both roles as an individual relating to the parent and as the parent relating to the child. The ideal best that we can hope for is to have an open mind, being supportive, being critical without being judgmental (quite a feat to accomplish), showing love, caring, and being reliable. The worst case scenario is the parent who spoils the child rotten and does not insist that the child takes any responsibility for his or her actions, and the child that is perpetually dependent on the parent, and not being respectful or appreciative of what the parents contribute to his or her existence.

Life is a precious gift from the Creator, and our parents as co-creators contribute to our lives from conception. Even if your parents have not been the best in giving you all the material things, or were not available or able to invest as much time in your development, if you have reached the stage of adulthood and you are now responsible for your own progress in life, give thanks that your parents at least contributed the egg and the sperm that make you who you are today. Many couples in the world today are spending great sums of money just to get an egg and a sperm to collaborate so that they can have a child of their own. Thank God that your mother’s womb nurtured the fertility process that gave birth to you, the wonderful human being that you are today. Thank God for the father, or sperm donor that provided the seed, and don’t stress yourself over the circumstances, because if you were not supposed to be here, you wouldn’t be.

Life is what you make it

It is somewhat disappointing that in today’s world, more and more parents seem to lack the initiative, the interest or the desire to see their children succeed in life. Such parents perhaps under-value their own potential and power. It is easy for them to have children, but they expect someone else to mind them, and provide for them. As parents, you need to instill proper values in your children. It is a bit weird to see grown children still living off their parents who are struggling, and not making any effort to help themselves, and the parents just accepting it and allowing and enabling this unhealthy situation to go on.

As a parent, you have more experience and more knowledge than your child, hopefully, and you should use that to help them get somewhere in life instead of being perpetually dependent on what you have to offer them. Grown children have their own life to live, and should not expect their parents to carry their burdens for them infinitely. The sad thing in some cases, is that even after parents have done all they can, the children who benefitted from the parents are nowhere to be found when the parents are no longer able to take care of themselves and need the support of their children. That’s why it is so important for parents to instill the right values, and teach their children the morals of humanity that is needed in each and every stage of human development.

If your parents are still alive, still within your reach, give thanks for their lives. If they are already passed on, treasure their memory and pass on the information to their grand-children and great-grands. You are the green leaves on the Family Tree of Ancestors. You will become an ancestor one day when you pass from this life. Your work in the life of your family will live on in the memory of those who knew you, or heard about you and your contributions.

Email information: rbyhumanity@hotmail.com