Children need 'licks' not 'timeout'- Hon Neville A. Smith
The territory has been rocked with a rise in gun-related crimes of late, including the latest murder of Catherine Pickering of Paraquita Bay, who was shot during a robbery last Sunday, April 18, 2021.
'We men need to stand up!'
Honourable Smith, speaking at the Seventh Sitting of the Third Session of the Fourth House of Assembly (HoA) at Save the Seed Energy Centre in Duff's Bottom, Tortola, on Thursday, April 22, 2021, also called on men in the territory to play their part in moulding their children and added that institutions like the Attorney General’s Office and the courts should be strengthened because the prolonged periods on remand causes innocent young men to turn into criminals when they mingle with criminals at Her Majesty’s Prison in Balsam Ghut.
“We men need to stand up! We men need to stand up and be men and be fathers and do the right thing; for this to change, fathers need to stand up."
The At-Large Member also lashed out at parents who turn a blind eye to red flag behaviour by their children.
"Sometimes we as parents see our children come home with stuff, and we know we didn’t give it to them, but we still don’t ask questions. You might see your child come home on a scooter, you didn't buy him a scooter, you know your child not working but you not asking your child where he got this scooter from. These are the things that start, it starts small, and it becomes big,” Hon Smith pointed out.
Time out? Licks!
Honourable Smith also reasoned that the matter of the rising crime is also linked to ineffective methods of disciplining their children, such as time outs instead of lashes.
He said he was privy to a radio conversation on child abuse, and in explaining what child abuse is, the conversers said: “if you lick a child and you see a welt on that child, that’s child abuse. So what you have to do is put him in a corner for time out. Mr Speaker, you see what we coming to? And then you asking why there is crime? When I was young I didn’t know what time out was, my time out was a belt, that’s what we used to get. If you realise where we are today, people saying is different times, it ain't no different times, we as parents need to do our jobs.”
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48 Responses to “Children need 'licks' not 'timeout'- Hon Neville A. Smith”
Stop pulling things out of a hat on what to say next.
Everyone’s situation is different and licks does nothing! I can speak because I got licks as a child and it wasn’t for being rude but being imaginative and adventurous in play.
Smith for crying out loud, study behavioral patterns, cause and effect, and the fact that there are children who actually listen, can dialogue, and understand why something should not be done.
What was done in the past doesn’t mean it has to continue.
Every mentality and circumstances are different.
ON ME FOR ANY REASON, ONCE SHE IS REMOVED FROM THE HOME, THERE IS NO WAY SHE CAN COME BACK TO THE HOME. MOMMY WILL BE HOME IN THE NICE HOME THAT I PROVIDED AND SHE WILL BE IN A FOSTER HOME CRYING. IT IS CALLED TOUGH LOVE.
On the other hand they are individuals and have their own minds. No matter how they were raised does not mean they will do the right or moral thing. Too many outside influences than when Neville was growing up.
Beating children for everything just fosters an environment of fear and violence. If you show kids that the answer to everything is a belt is it so hard to believe they would become adults who believe a gun is the solution?
Time out might not be the answer either as that just teaches kids that the solution to bad behaviour is to withhold human interaction. This just leads to cold and distant adults.
Kids need guidence. Parents need to actually take the time to talk to their kids and help them work through their problems. Show some mercy and understanding so they can become empathetic human beings.
If you don't want your kids to steal and they come home with items that don't belong to them, explain to them that stealing is wrong and why. Then ensure that they give the items back and apologize, take them to school or wherever so you can actually see that they did it. Praise them for doing the right thing because you want them to fell good about correcting their mistakes. This encourages them to take the initiative to try again and make things right. If you make an environment where they're afraid of making mistakes then they'll just become good liars who act one way in front their parents and another in front society. Keep doing this as many times as needed. Ignoring problems and not following through just makes them think it's okay and beating them just messes up their emotional growth.
I've met a lot of old people who are basically sociopaths and they don't even realise it. They think a lot of abuse is okay. When you see women taking slaps from their husband I'm willing to bet their fathers beat them which is why theu don't think they deserve better. When you see men slapping down their wives I'm willing to bet they hate their mothers because she beat them.
Let's end this bs and try something else.
The real Problem in the BVI is that some of those children especially the young men, have learning disabilities or rather learn differently. Neither the schools nor the parents are given the tools to address these issues. Therefore they manifest themselves in what looks like a behavior problem. HOW DO YOU BEAT THAT OUT OF THE CHILD'S DNA? You cannot, but the adults at home and at school can learn how to teach and work with the child according to their style of learning and not treat them like outcasts. In the long run you will get a more loving and productive adult. BVI has become this society of haves and have nots. Egos and politics aside, work on a better school system to include better options in alternative education. Solutions rather than encouraging child abuse. Enough of the adults in society see things the way they do because of their own sexual and physical abuse that has gone unaddressed and this is also what you see in today's youth. Find solutions not create more problems.
They have us where they want us! CONFUSED and behaving like them! We took something designed for evil and used it to mold a beautiful and proud race!
Instead of beating children, take away screens, talk to them and give them the love they deserve. While I agree way too many kids running around with no father figure, and the mentality of sowing the seed is strong don't reproduce if you cant at least offer love and a safe home.
I couldn't believe my eyes when i saw a local lady slapping her 4 year old son around the head in a local supermarket, the child was so young and helpless. I wanted to slap the mother around the head, this is called bad parenting. Often parents take out their frustrations of a bad day out on their kids.
Be patient, kind show love and lead by example, its not rocket science.
YOU MAY OR MAY NOT ACCEPT THE FOLLOWING: THE JUDGEMENT OF GOD IS UPON THE B.V.I. IT WILL CONTINUE FOR AS LONG AS WE, AS A PEOPLE CONTINUE ON THIS IGNORANT, ARROGANT, PRIDEFUL, NEGLECTFUL, AND SELF RIGHTEOUS PATH.
If you were disciplined for wrong doing you knew the difference between that an abuse.
Discipline a child with licks does not equal abuse.
You don’t need to do it often because your word carries weight.
Better to get licks young than to get time in jail later for lack of discipline. Discipline not fairytale guidance where you get to continue doing wrong while they pray you stop.
When they reach adulthood and do wrong there’s no more guidance only authority. introduce them to reality to protect them.
Truth is those children who are up and down with no one to make them stay home no one to show them they are under a father or mother are the ones that end up threatening people. The ones that don’t get beat, from the good homes end up taking more than what they don’t need.